Post by gav on May 11, 2011 10:24:55 GMT -5
gavinbricethacker
twenty-two. graduated. cold.tough.cocky.jensen ackles.
twenty-two. graduated. cold.tough.cocky.jensen ackles.
"First off, let me say, I am a huge liar. You can hardly trust what comes out of my mouth. Eighty nine percent of the time it‘s a lie. The other eleven percent, I am brutally honest. To the point of not caring how much I hurt someone. So I guess to sum that all up, I am a asshole. Do I care? No, not really. I don‘t care what people think of me, because people are just people, and they don‘t stick around long. No one has really stuck around in my life now, but my father, and he‘s not around anymore, so everyone else can go fuck off somewhere.
Why? I just don‘t see the point in trying to impress someone if they are just going to leave you in the dust. I‘ve learned that I can‘t really count on anyone but myself. Everyone has a price, to sell out on you. No? Really? Okay whose your best friend? Okay, so how much have they confided in you? Now.. Tell me, if someone offered you a million dollars to tell them all of there secrets that they told you.. Would you do it? If not, how about two million? Or three? See… Everyone has there price. Everything about you can be bought. Hell… I bet you even have a price for your soul.
This is my point, no one is trust worthy, so why even bother? Yes, I guess my outlook has some problems with my relationships.. I won‘t have one. Hell, I‘ll never fall in love. I can‘t have a stable relationship because of my inability to trust anyone, so how do I solve this? I really never stick around, and just, well sleep around, would be the nice way to put it. But, to add into my asshole-ish-ness, I guess I sometimes pretend to want something more then just a casual fuck. Sometimes I don’t, if I think the girl will still stay around me. We both go in knowing, it’s going to be nothing more then sex. She uses me, and I use her. Do I have any morals? Honestly no. I’ll sleep with someone’s wife. I don’t give a shit. Of course, I don’t sleep with anyone that is too young for me. What is too young? Seventeen. I don’t want to go to jail, again.. Well at lest not for sleeping with a minor. That’s just kind of disgusting, honestly.
Something else that I won’t do? Umm.. That’s a tough one… Well on the same note, child pornography. That’s disgusting. Oh and creepy fetishes, those are nasty and just fucking weird. Um, I won’t eat raw fish, or muscles, or oysters. Anything that’s slimy and looks like it should be on the bottom of your shoe. I’ve never tried it, and never will. Food is meant to be cooked at lest part of the way. Like rare steak. Now pretty much anything else, I will try at lest once. Like, Gator. That shit‘s good.
Oh your wanting… Ohh.. Well. I can’t say I won‘t ever do drugs.. I‘ve done that. Pot, mostly. But I‘ve dabbled in other things. Not getting into that, because those.. Those I won’t ever do again. That was a really dark path and I‘m glad I got out of that. Pot, I‘m all for smoking again, that shits fun. But honestly that is all I can come up with at the top of my head.
I guess I might as well throw in here, that I am a bit of a prankster. You know Dane Cook? Yeah I love doing half the shit he‘s said. Like the “I just came“ Joke in the movie theater? Been there, done that.. Fucking hilarious. I enjoy laughing, even more so if it is at someone else’s expense. I can be a pretty fun guy, I guess. I mean it‘s not my goal in life to make everyone else‘s life hell, I just want to live my life, and I just don‘t care about other people much. If they get in my way, I will take them down. It‘s just how I am, and Honestly, I don‘t give a shit.
I really don’t remember much starting out, my mother died giving birth to me, which left my father with me. He was never, really that good of a parent. Now don’t get me wrong he tried, and he tried very hard. He loved me, and I know he did. But my father just didn’t know how to be more of a father and less of a best friend. He let me get away with everything at a young age. I started smoking at thirteen, and not just cigarettes. I got in to a bit of trouble, because I liked to cause havoc. What can I say? What teenager doesn’t?
Of course, most things I did was to more or less to show off. I loved being a front man, being the little ‘ring leader’ of my little group. Course, as I grew older, showing off changed from ridding my bike down the big hill with out tapping the breaks to spray painting a mustache on some billboard, to slashing tires, to standing on the train tracks till the last minuet, to breaking into some big shots house and stealing a lot of there shit. Well, showing off also got me the attention of girls, and well.. I highly enjoyed that. I bragged with my father, starting at age fourteen of which girls I “fucked” my father just shot the shit with me, like it was normal. Course, only now do I really know that, that was highly unusual. When I was young I thought all fathers did that with there sons, light up a joint and talk sex.
Well, as I grew older things just got worse and worse, I was ditching more and more school. If I went, I really didn’t do anything. My father got called on it, and he tried to have a sit down talk with me and things just blew up from there. I didn’t want to talk about shit, and my father honestly didn’t want to do it either, he hated being mad at me, but he knew what I needed to hear. I refused, and ditched home, and went to stay with one of my fuck buddies that night. Her father, some how figured out I was there, and chased me out of her house with a shot gun, firing once at me, and hitting a tree luckily, the only thing I got on me was a knick on the leg from one of the shots. It’s scarred today.
After that run in, I went to stay at one of my buddies house, and being a sixteen and a seventeen year old, we drank, and drank, annnnnd drank. Honestly we drank so much, I woke up wasted. I crawled into my car that morning and drove home, not paying attention to anything I climbed up the stairs and crawled into my bed and past right back out., my father woke me up some time later, and told me he was skipping with the small talk, and basically to sum it up, he said that he loved me and just wanted the best for me. That I was the best thing in his life, and he just wanted me to be happy and to love life.
I didn’t pay much attention to the words then, but.. Now they mean something to me. I got up later on that night and my father fixed me something to help get the last part of my hang over to go away. He shot the shit like we did most of the time and the subject some how got on my mom, and he made me promise to never blame my self.. Which honestly, I really didn’t He never raised me to blame myself, and of course, I questioned the fact that if I was never born would she be alive now? But my father was good with that. So, I promised and helped him up the stairs and laid him down in bed, and he went to sleep.. Never waking up.
My fathers death stumped me, and really depressed me. I didn’t know what to do for a long while, and eventually just gave up, and moved to blue water. Trying to start over and just move on. It seems to be working, to get away from everything that reminded me of my father. I nothing much has really changed in my personality, I’m still just the same womanizing bastard I was back home. Maybe the small thing that has changed is.. I tend to care less about myself, and everyone else around me. I don’t have anyone to calm me down anymore, or to reprimand me. So, maybe I’m just worse."
behind the mask
[/center]alias mia (laykin reserved him since i haven't been able to get on the computer)
age nineteen
experience 7 years
how'd you find us? laykin.
